nomékoP
by Multiversity
Summary: Something is wrong. I don't know what, but I'm going to find out. I'm not a Pikachu, I'm a human! A trainer! A...a...uh...  What was I just thinking about...
1. Chapter 1: A Brand New Day

**I do not own Pokémon. All OCs are mine.**

**Well, the idea for this is tricky. I got the idea while considering possible plots for my other story, **_**Electivire Guild**_**, and it suddenly exploded into a much more complex concept.**

**I'm sure it's been done before, but everything has. So I'll have to settle with doing it **_**better**_** than the others. **

**It's up to you, the viewers, to decide if I succeed.**

**Share and Enjoy… oh, and comment, too.**

* * *

><p>(Ash's POV)<p>

"Ash! Wake up! We have to get going! Where are you, anyway?"

That voice… who is that? I know it's familiar. Sounds like… me? No that can't be right.

I sit up and nearly lose my balance. Why am I sleeping in a tree? Oh yeah, I just wanted to give it a try. Well, I feel rested, so it must have been okay…

"Where are you? Ash? Come on out!"

There's that voice again. Who _is _he?

I shrug and check to see if my Pokéballs are still where they should be. They're not. And that's not all.

I twist around to get a look at myself and fall out of the tree. I land in a bush. I think it's a bush. Do bushes grow this big?

Come to think of it, that tree was pretty tall. I fell a long way, but I wasn't hurt. Weird. I dust my self off, brushing the dirt out of my fur. Fur. Why does that feel wrong somehow? Fur. Fur, fur, fur…

Why did I check for Pokéballs? I'm not a trainer. No, wait, I am. No, I'm not. Yes. No. Yes…

I clutch my head. Something isn't right here. I don't know what yet, but I'm going to find out.

There's a pond a ways off. Good. I needed a drink. I trotted over-trot? That doesn't sound right-and take a long drink.

I see my reflection. Red cheeks, zigzag tail, yellow fur, long ears. Yup, just a normal Pikachu.

Wait… I felt something *_click_* in my brain… Pikachu…

I'm not supposed to be a Pikachu. I'm…I'm human! I'm a trainer! I'm Ash Ketchum, I'm-

"Ash, there you are!"

I jump and turn to see a human with blond hair and a yellow shirt, patterned to look like a Pikachu's fur. He crouches down next to me.

"Don't run off like that, Ash! I was getting worried," he said.

_Who is this? _He's my trainer, Peter Ketchum. _Wait, who? _Everyone calls him 'Pika' because when he blushes he looks just like a Pikachu. _Ketchum's MY name! I don't have a Trainer, I _am_ a Trainer!_

"Pika! Pichu pi pika-" I put my hands over my mouth. _Why can't I talk!_ Well, I am just a Pikachu… _No! I'm not! I'm… um…_

The human frowns, worried. "You okay, buddy? You're pretty jumpy for having just woken up."

_I've got to figure out how to tell him. Maybe he can help me if I just… no, maybe I should… _help me with what? _No! Focus. Something is very, VERY wrong here. I can fix it if… if I just…_

What was I just thinking about?

* * *

><p>"Wow, Ash, are you alright?" Peter asks me. Of course I am. Why wouldn't I be?<p>

"_I'm just fine, Pika," _I assure him. Sure, he can't hear me, but he usually gets the gist.

Peter sighs, relieved. He lets me climb on his shoulder before standing. I make myself comfortable. This kind of thing takes awhile, believe me.

Peter takes out his map and studies it with a thoughtful frown. I roll my eyes. Peter can't read a map to save his life.

He starts walking down the path, but its still nearly ten minutes before he swallows his pride.

"Um, Ash? Can you…" he says sheepishly, holding the map up to me. Really, what kind of Trainer needs his Pokémon to read a map for him? Sad.

"_Here," _I say, pointing to a line in the northeast. _"Here's where we are now. Route 5."_

"Okay…" he mumbles. I grin. He really hates this, doesn't he? I would.

"_We need to go south and get to Saffron City," _I continue, sliding my paw downto the appropriate square.

"Okay, wait. I see now."

I look up, surprised. It usually takes longer than that to… he's not looking at me. He's reading a sign. There's an arrow pointing along the path, and the words: 'Saffron City.' Of course.

I facepalm.

* * *

><p>A few hours later, Peter finds a clearing and we stop to have lunch. He lets the others out, too: Noctowl, Infernape and Buizel. He had others, of course, but Peter left most of them at the lab.<p>

He was challenging the Kanto League again. Ah, the Kanto League. Our humble beginnings. I don't think Buizel liked it here.

"_Hey, Ash. How do you _stand_ this?" _he asked.

"_What do you mean?"_

"_I _mean_ how do you take this heat? It's ridiculous!"_

"_Aw, be quiet," _Infernape growled. _"_I _like it."_

"_You would, you're a Fire-Type!"_

I heard Noctowl chuckle. He didn't talk much, though sometimes I wish that applied to these two.

"_Now Buizel," _I say, _"Kanto's just a more temperate region. How do you think I felt in Sinnoh? It was freezing!"_

Buizel opens his mouth. "Soup's on!" …but is interrupted by Peter.

Peter laid out our food. I ate mine carefully.

Don't get me wrong, It's not like he's a bad cook, he's just… not a good one either. Certainly not as good as that Simisage in Pewter City.

"So Ash," he says. I look up at him. "Saffron City's gym. Remember?"

Oh yes. I remember. The Gym Leader, Al. I remember that he beat us soundly the first time I fought his Gothitelle, Sabrina. I remember that he had a bizarre fascination with spoons. And I remember he had a magnificent moustache.

"_Oh yeah. Good times."_

"Yeah. I hope things go better this time."

"_Of course they will!"_

"It's just we never really beat him before. He gave us the badge after you got Sabrina to smile."

"_That's not important!"_

"Calm down! I'm kidding! You'll do fine," he said, laughing.

I can't help but smile back.

The others finish their meal. Buizel and Noctowl went to sleep almost immediately, and Infernape started doing push-ups. I chuckled. Always getting stronger, that one.

"Ash?"

"_Yes, Pika?"_

Peter hesitates. _"What's wrong?"_

"Do you… get this weird feeling?"

I frown. "_Huh?"_

"When I woke up earlier, Something felt…I don't know. _Off._ Or something. I can't remember. I must have had a weird dream."

Weird dream…

"I think I dreamed I was a Pikachu."

I smirked. _"Oh?"_

"You know, like that time we ran into that wizard, Murray?"

Murray, Murray…

"You remember Murray, he had this Murkrow named Lily?"

Ah, yes. That one. That was a weird day.

"It was like that, I think. Only you were a human."

I freeze, but he doesn't notice. _Human…?_

_Oh my gosh! What happened? I was a human, a Trainer, I've got to get back! _But wait, how is that even possible? I've always been a Pikachu. Well, except for when I was a Pichu, but that goes without saying… _No! No! It's some kind of trick! I've got to-_

"Pretty weird, huh, buddy?" Peter chuckles, petting me.

Oh, that feels pretty good… _No! I have to focus on, on…_ on what exactly? _I've gotta find out what's going on…_ ooh, right there… _Human! Misty! Brock! My friends! What happened to them? What… what…_ a little lower… _no…_ right there. That's the spot.

I curl up next to him as he returns the others. I feel him lift me up onto his head. He packs up the dishes and starts back down the road.

What was I thinking about? It seems like it was awfully important. Oh well. If it was important, I'm sure it'll come back up eventually. As for now… *_yawn_*… I could use some rest.

* * *

><p>(? POV)<p>

"Presto? Presto, do you copy?"

"Loud and clear, Sarge. Have you found them yet?"

"Naw, not yet. I'm not sure what I'm lookin' for. All you told me was-" My antennae spark. "Wait a minute. Someone's comin'."

I duck into the bush. It's a big bush. A boy with blonde hair's comin' 'round the corner. The shirt's got brown stripes like a Pikachu's, and a little pattern for the tale…

…nah. Too obvious. Or is it? Now that I take a closer look, there's a Pikachu sleepin' on his head. A Pikachu with a familiar scruff of fur on his head…

I hold the communicator close to my mouth and whisper. "Presto, I think I've found the targets. Should I just follow 'em for now?"

"Yes, Sarge. Warp should wake up any minute now. Just keep them in sight."

"Roger."

I through the little contraption over my shoulder. I don't think it hit the ground. I'm pretty sure it stopped existing once I stopped holding it, but I don't have time to watch cosmic quantum phenomena.

My quarry was still movin'. I waited awhile, then stepped out of the undergrowth and followed.

Heh. This shouldn't take long.

* * *

><p><strong>So...<strong>

**How'd I do? Comment! I can't improve if you don't critique!**


	2. Chapter 2: Stalkers and Spazzes

**Well, I was pleasantly surprised. This wasn't even up for an hour and someone had already favorited it. I am flattered.**

**Pokémon isn't mine. If it was, Ash would be fourteen **_**at least!**_** I mean, **_**come on…**_

**DO THEY REALLY EXPECT US TO BELIEVE HE MANAGED TO TREK ACROSS FOUR COUNTRIES AND CHALLENGE FOUR **_**YEARLY**_** TOURNAMENTS IN LESS THAN A YEAR?**

**But anyway, yeah.**

**Share and enjoy. Comment. You know the drill.**

(? POV)

"Blaze? Come in Blaze?"

I scowled and pull the phone from my hoodie pocket. Walkie-talkie. Whatever.

"Yeah, I read you Presto. What's up?"

"Circuit found Ash. He's in pursuit."

"Okay."

There was silence for a while.

"Blaze?"

"What?"

"You've forgotten what you're supposed to be doing, haven't you?"

"What would make you say that?"

"You haven't moved in thirty minutes. I can see you on monitors. Why aren't you doing anything?"

I stuck my tongue out at the device. Just because he's a genius with eidetic memory doesn't mean he's always right.

"I saw that, you ingrate."

"What are you, my stalker? Back off-"

A rock jumped off the ground and threw itself at me. Blasted telekinesis.

"Come again?" he said innocently from his end.

"Remind me how you do that when you're not even on the same dimensional plane as I am?"

"I can't. In order to remind you, you must first have known it in the first place."

I gave up. You can't argue with a genius like him. Smart-aleck. "Okay, wise guy. For your information, I'm waiting."

"For what?"

"My target. Listen, you told me to find Misty. She is-_was_ the Gym Leader of Cerulean City. It only makes sense to wait at the Gym, right? I don't tell you how to do your job, you don't tell me how to do mine."

"Blaze."

"What?" I respond, exasperated.

"Telling you what to do _is_ my job."

I threw the thing over my shoulder. Semantics. He's right, but whatever.

So there I am, sitting in the gym. Waiting. The lights aren't on, but I like the dark. I hope Sarge is alright. Ha! As though anything could stop him.

The lights flick on overhead. I duck into the shadows.

A woman with pink hair in a strange style was standing at one end of the pool. She had on pink and blue clothes. Her movements were a little stiff, but still managed to be graceful.

I looked at the picture Presto gave me. A girl with blue short shorts, a tiny yellow shirt and red suspenders. Orange spiky hair, cut short. This was not the woman by the pool.

Oh well. I hadn't expected her to be. After all, that was the whole gimmick here, wasn't it? All the humans, most of the Pokémon, and they all-

Since when do Psyduck drown?

Seriously. He can breathe underwater. Why is he floundering like that? The woman sighs as an angry-looking Azumarill hauls him out and starts shouting at him.

"_Why did you jump in the pool? You always jump in the pool! And what happens, every single time?"_

"_I… uh… huh?" _the Psyduck slurs. I knew Psyduck suffered from migraines, but this guy had it _really_ bad. Yeesh.

"_You _drown!_ That's what! You know you can't swim, so why do you keep throwing yourself in the water?"_

"_I… don't… know," _he answers. I wince in sympathy. This won't end well…

*_BONK_*

…yup. I wasn't aware Azumarill were able to access hammerspace. She pulled a mallet from somewhere and smacked the poor waterfowl on the head. He fell backwards with those little swirls in his eyes.

_Well,_ I thought, _guess I've found her._

I got up to leave-I'd catch her again when she left-when I tripped. Curse my ridiculously long legs. I tripped on the bleachers and fell down the stands onto the battle area.

"A Blaziken?" a voice asked, startled.

Oops.

I looked up and saw the Azumarill and the woman looking at me. I guess they don't see Blaziken too often. Didn't I mention I was one of those?

I got up and dusted myself off. The Azumarill walked over and glared at me.

"Now Misty, be careful-"

"_Who are you and why are you here?" _she asked. Ah, so she _was_ Misty.

"That's classified, sorry."

"A _talking _Blaziken?" the poor woman yelled, shocked.

"_Can it, Coral!"_ Misty spat.

"Whoa. Can you say, 'anger issues?'" I mutter.

"_What was that?"_

"Geez, calm down, miss. Name's Blaze. More than that, can't tell you."

"_And why not?"_

"Why is the sky pickle-colored?"

"_It's not-what?"_ she cuts herself off mid-rant.

"Sorry, my mistake. If you must know why I'm here, I suppose I can tell you I'm here to watch over and protect you and, uh, Miss Coral over there. You'll have to put up with me, I'm afraid."

Coral walks over, carefully treading around Misty. "Protect us from what?"

"Not sure. I'll know it when I see it, I suppose." I pulled a yo-yo from my pocket. I like yo-yos. They're a fun distraction and a good weapon.

"Is there anything we can help you with?"

"_Coral! How do you know we can trust him? We only-"_

"Yes, actually. What can you tell me about a guy named Ash?"

(Ash's POV)

We could see Saffron City. We still had a ways to go, but I couldn't wait. I can be impatient at times.

"Well, Ash, looks like we'll get to sleep in a bed tonight," Peter said, grinning.

"_I sure hope so. Maybe we can-"_

Hold the phone. There's a Pikachu in the road. Standing in the middle of the road.

Peter saw him too. He stopped and stared at the Pikachu.

The Pikachu had his back to us, and he wasn't moving; I think I could just barely see him breathing. He had a white hat on.

"Huh," Peter whispered, "A Pikachu with a fedora. Weird." He looked at me. "Something's wrong, I can tell that much. Can you go take a look?"

"_Sure, Pika!"_ I hopped to the ground and walked over.

He was staring straight ahead, a look of horror on his face. His cheeks were white like his hat. So were the stripes on his back, and the base of his tail.

I waved a paw in front of his eyes. He didn't even blink.

"_Hello? Anyone home?"_ His eye twitched. The hat was covering his ears, maybe he couldn't hear me too well. I carefully lifted the hat up-

-Or tried to. His paw shot up and grabbed my arm the second I touched his hat. His lips twitched, and he whispered, _"The horror…"_

"_Sorry?" _I asked, trying to pull from his grip.

He turned to look at me, and grinned. When I say 'grinned,' I mean he gave a smile that would give a Sableye nightmares.

He said, _"Please ask your doctor if Rare Candy is right for you."_

"_Huh?" _What was he-

"_DO A BARREL ROLL! Ha! Ha, ha hahahaha HA!"_

He jumped. Like, five feet in the air. He landed on my head, and he wasn't heavy at all. I barely felt him.

"_What do you-"_

"_Hey! Guess what?" _He leaned down and looked me in the eye, upside down.

"_Uh, what?"_

"_I DON'T KNOW and I'm okay with that."_

"_You-"_

"_By Arceus! Quick! What does the scouter say about his power level?"_

He backflipped off my head. I turned around. He'd somehow managed to land on Peter's shoulder, fifteen feet away. He dug in Peter's pack and pulled out his Pokédex, which he aimed at me.

"_It's… it's over 9000!"_

I blinked and he was next to me again. He'd left the Pokédex, which hadn't even started falling. Peter caught it quickly.

"_Over 9000? But that's IMPOSSIBLE!"_

I was getting really confused, and a little worried. _"Hey, are you alright?"_

He turned to me and frowned sadly and said, very calmly, _"Why did you drop a brick on my head?"_

"_I-what?"_ I did no such thing!

"_I'm comin' Elizabeth!"_

After that outburst he fell over, swirls in his eyes.

Peter and I just stared. After a few seconds, I couldn't take anymore.

"_WHAT THE HECK JUST HAPPENED?"_

Peter walked over and picked the Pikachu up by his tail. Despite being upside down, his hat never fell off. Weird.

"I don't know what just happened, Ash, but I think this guy needs a Pokémon Center, and fast."

I jumped onto his shoulder._ "Right. Maybe he was just Confused. I hope."_

Peter broke into run towards the city. I really hoped someone would eventually tell me what was going on.

(? POV)

That ain't good. Warp went stark, ravin' loony. I knew space-time was goin' all crazy, but I didn't know it was that bad.

I broke into a run to keep up with the boy. The change in form didn't change hie physique, it seems.

I saw the Pikachu's ear twitch. His head turned to me. I just barely threw myself behind a tree in time.

Did he see me? I hope not. I'm a professional, I can't be caught by an amateur!

Boy, I'm too old fer this. A hundred and twenty years, I worked this job. Figures that once I retired, trouble would just decide to follow me 'round instead of the other way around.

Oh well. Can't complain. Still, what was Arceus thinkin'? Must be off his rocker.

I peeked out from behind my tree. They're gone. Dang.

I started runnin'. Gotta catch up.

Can't let 'em outta my sight.

(Ash's POV)

I heard a twig snap behind us and turned to see what it was. I knew from experience that Team Rocket was always following us, but all I saw was a flash of yellow and silver.

That can't be good.

Whatever it was, it was big.

Great. What now?


	3. Chapter 3: Too Much Chaos

**Hello, hello, hello! First things first: Pokémon isn't mine. OCs are. **

**However, you can use a select few of them if you ask nicely first. Ask and I'll tell you which ones.**

**Well! I've been on the site less than a month (I think) and both my stories have a favorite and a comment each! So… yeah, I'm happy. Giddy, even.**

**Without further ado:**

**Share and Enjoy.**

* * *

><p>(Ash's POV)<p>

"All right! You're Pikachu is perfectly healthy."

"Thanks, Nurse Joy."

Nurse Joy had an Audino bring the Pikachu out on a trolley. He looked alert, but at least he wasn't gibbering like a maniac. He jumped down in front of me and started stretching.

"Hey, when did you get an Audino, Nurse Joy?"

"Oh, it's on loan from my cousin in Unova."

"Unova? Really?"

I left them to their conversation. Boooooring! I walked over to the Pikachu.

"_You feeling better?" _I asked.

"_Oh, quite decidedly so, yes," _he said. _"I hadn't slept in days! That tranquilizer they had to use really did the trick."_

I sweatdrop. _"Tranquilizer?"_

"_Calmed me down some, too. Sorry about that whole display earlier. I had a slight case of crazy, but I'm fine now."_

"_Uh-"_

"Okay, Ash!" Peter crouched down and looked at the other Pikachu. "And how are you, little guy?"

"_Stuff it," _he said.

Peter frowned. Like I said, he couldn't understand Pokéspeak, but after a few years with me, he could usually get the gist of it when a Pikachu talks.

He turned to me. "I get the feeling I was insulted." He looked at the mouse. "What's your name?"

The Pikachu gave him a look that said "you've _got_ to be kidding me." He jumped to the desk and grabbed a pen and paper. He scribbled on it, then handed it back to my Trainer.

"Matthew?" Peter read?

Matthew? What kind of name is that for a Pikachu?

"_A darn good one if you ask me," _Matthew growled.

I jumped. _"Did you just-"_

"_Yes."_

"_How-"_

"_Not important."_

"_What do you mean-"_

"_Not," _he said slowly, _"Important."_

I stared at him. He was… strange.

"_Yes, and I'm proud of it."_

"_Will you quit doing that?" _I snap.

"_Sure. All you have to do I ask."_ He smiled.

Peter had been following this exchange with a look of polite incomprehension on his face. When we stopped, he said, "So Matt, do you-AAH!"

Matthew shocked him.

Peter coughed. "Okay. So I can't call you Matt, huh?"

"Pika."

"Right." He started again. "Do you have a Trainer?"

Matthew shook his head. He jumped on Peter's shoulder and pointed to the door. _"Mush!"_

Peter sweatdropped. "Would you like to come with us?"

Matthew grinned.

I hopped up on the other shoulder and grimaced. This couldn't possibly end well.

"_You got that right. Why do you think I'm here?"_

I was going to get angry, but then what he said caught up with my ears. _"What?"_

He didn't say anything.

* * *

><p>(Blaze's POV)<p>

"My name is Wildfire. Blaze Wildfire. I am the top field agent of an interdimensional agency that I will speak no more of, beyond telling you that I am a part of it."

"What do you mean?"

"About what?"

"The… agency thing."

I allowed myself a small smile. "I haven't any idea what you mean."

Miss Coral looked at me in confusion, but Misty wasn't done with me, it seems.

"_Oh no you don't! You can't just dangle something like _that_ in front of us and not explain yourself. Talk!"_

I glance down at her. "Type advantage means nothing, long-ears."

"_What did you-"_

"Calm down, Misty," Miss Coral said gently.

"Yes, we don't want you blowing a gasket."

I woke up several minutes later with a splitting headache. That girl has _issues_.

* * *

><p>(? POV)<p>

Ah, it's about time the story cycled around to me.

I sat in my study observing the monitors. On one, a small mouse in a green tunic was sword fighting with a fox in pirate garb. A corsair, I believe.

Another screen had a young, pale man in Ireland trying to avoid any conversation involving fairies. He was not in a particularly strong state of mind at the moment, but he was doing better.

Yet another was occupied with detailing the antics of a blue hedgehog. The camera was having trouble keeping up with him.

This is what I do. I work for the Guardian of Reality, watching the screens (there are hundreds) and keeping careful eye on them, so that I may alert the Guardian himself if anything spirals out of control.

I am also to guide our field agents in their missions.

"Blaze, do not tell her anything. Blaze?"

Great. Teenagers. They only put down the phone when you _want_ them to use it.

I am the only one who can do this job. With an I.Q. of at least 15,000, I'm a genius even by the standards of my species.

Incidentally, my species is Alakazam.

My neck hurts. What with all the activity we've had recently, I hadn't had time to use the gym. Now my muscles were beginning to get soft.

I sighed. Ah, well.

One of the monitors blinked. I teleported over. Circuit was hailing me.

I pressed a button, and Circuit's voice began pouring from the speakers.

"Presto, this is the General, do you copy?"

"Yes, Circuit."

"Warp's made contact."

"Excellent."

"Not really. The local time-space was so unstable he had a breakdown."

Not good. "This is an unfortunate but not unforeseen circumstance."

"What should I do?"

"You don't know?"

"Presto, I know I call myself a soldier, but what I mean when I say that is warrior. I don't usually bother with espionage, I just knock down walls 'til I find what I'm lookin' for."

"Ugh. You may reveal yourself if you wish. Just try to be-"

*_Click_*

"-subtle. Lovely."

I sighed. I really should get paid for this.

* * *

><p>(Ash's POV)<p>

"_So… where are you from?"_

"_Atlanta."_

"_Never heard of that place. Is it far?"_

"_You have no idea."_

I was trying to find out as much as I could about this guy, but he wasn't making it easy.

Peter stopped. We were at the gym, but that wasn't why we stopped. There was a very, very tall, very broad Electivire in an army jacket and a green hat standing in front of the doors. Looking at us.

Matthew perked up. _"Circuit?"_

The Electivire grinned. "Aye. How ya doin' Warp?"

"_You know him?"_

Peter was occupied by other things, however. "You can _talk_?"

"Yup!" Circuit extended a hand, which Peter took. "Guildmaster of the Electivire Guild, hero of the Great War, trainer of the Guardian (now retired), and master explorer, apprenticed under the Great Lucario hisself. The immortal General Circuit, at your service."

Circuit let go of Peter's arm, which kept moving for a few seconds.

The Electivire plucked me from Peter's shoulder and held me, by the scruff of my neck, in front of his face.

"Hey, what are you-"

Matthew held his lips shut.

Circuit squinted at me. "What's yer name, son?"

"_A-Ash, sir." _Hey, he was scary.

"Just Ash?"

"_Yes."_

"Huh. And you, young man?"

Matthew jumped from Pika's shoulder to Circuit's head. "Peter, sir?"

"_Peter?_"

"Yes, sir?"

"By Arceus… Peter what?"

"Peter Ketchum."

Circuit dropped me and nodded. "Figures."

I was confused. _"What do you-"_

I was cut off by an explosion from inside the Gym.

"What was that?" Peter shouted.

Circuit groaned. "Sounded like the plot to me. C'mon, let's check it out."

He ran into the Gym, and we were too confused to argue.

* * *

><p><strong>Any questions?<strong>


	4. Chapter 4: Guardian of Reality

_**Prepare for trouble… make it double…**_

**Pokémon belongs to Nintendo, or Gamefreak. Maybe both. But not me. Original Character are mine, but I'll let you use a few of them if you ask first.**

**Share and Enjoy.**

* * *

><p>(Ash's POV)<p>

Okay, I have no idea what's going on. We're in the Saffron Gym with a giggling, maniac Pikachu in a white fedora, a seven-foot _talking_ Electivire with silver stripes instead of black, and now, we found a giant robot attacking Al in the Gym's arena.

Sabrina was unconscious, her dress torn. The robot was trying to grab her, but Al had stepped between the arm and her, staring at it intently. The robot's arm was shaking, and I thought I saw a purple glow around it.

"_Holy giant robot, Batman!"_

"Ain't no time for yer nonsense, Warp. A human can't keep that kind of strain up for long, even if he _did_ use to be an Alakazam."

Alakazam? Where?

Peter gasped and pointed at the robot. There was a giant _**R**_ on it's chest.

"It's Team Rocket!" he shouted.

As if on cue (and knowing them, it probably was), a hatch opened up on the robot, smoke pouring out.

"Prepare for trouble, on the double…"

I facepalmed. _"Oh, no…"_

A man in a white Team Rocket uniform jumped from the cockpit with two Frillish beside him.

"To protect the world from devastation! To unite all evils within our nation! To-"

Circuit burst out laughing.

"And just what's so funny?" the man snapped.

"They're _Frillish? _That's rich! Hahaha!" He slapped his knee, and nearly double over from laughing so hard.

"I don't-"

"What's your name, anyway?"

"Uh… Marion, but I-"

"_Marion? _Oh, that's even better! Oh, me! Hoo…" He started fighting for a breath.

"Uh, hadn't heard that motto in a while…" Peter ventured.

"Huh?" Marion started. "Oh look, it's the twerp."

The pair of Frillish were arguing. _"How dare he interrupt our motto!" _the pink one was shouting.

"_But Jessie, it's not like we even say much. I mean, we just say our names, and they can't even understand it when we do, so-"_

"_That's not the point, James! It's the _principle_ of the thing!"_

Matthew had a bored look on his face. He jumped to the ground and walked over to the machine. It had stopped working when Team Rocket got out. Al had wakened Sabrina and the two were watching the whole scene with bemused looks.

Matthew sighed. _"I was worried for a second. But it's just Team Rocket, so no worries."_

Marion, Jessie and James all stopped and turned to him, enraged. _"WHAT?"_

"_It's a shame, too. I was looking forward to a fight, but this isn't even fair."_

"Sar dat one more time, I dare ya!" Marion seethed.

Matthew stared at him. _"Circuit."_

"Right." The Electivire walked to the robot and lifted it with one hand, throwing it straight up through the hole in the ceiling. It didn't come back down.

Team Rocket's faces were absolutely hilarious. Matthew took a picture.

Circuit leaned down so his face was level with the crooks. He stared at them for a few seconds. Then, so quietly I could barely hear it, he said, "Boo."

I'd never seen someone run so fast.

* * *

><p>(Blaze's POV)<p>

Geez, this Misty girl has anger issues. Presto said not to get her mad, but that seemed to be her natural state of being.

Miss Coral had shown me to her home and had apologized profusely. I hate it when people do that.

However, I didn't object when she offered me food.

"So, where are you from?" she asked me.

"Not sure. Never knew my parents, but that's not unusual with Pokémon."

"I'm sorry."

"Yes. You said that."

"Sorry."

I facepalmed.

Misty was still glaring at me.

"So you wanted to know about Ash?"

"That's right."

"I don't know much. He's Peter's Pikachu, but aside from that-"

"_Peter_?"

"Yes?"

"Poor guy. Sorry, go on."

"But aside from that I wouldn't know. I traveled with Peter for a while, if you want to know about him…"

I grinned, which is very difficult when you have a beak. "My, are you blushing?"

I was ready for the mallet this time. I moved in time, but the chair didn't make it.

"Misty!" Coral groaned. "Not again!"

"_Sorry…"_

"But no, there was nothing between me and Peter, if that's what you're asking."

"I was just teasing, didn't mean anything by it."

"However," she said with a sly smile. She gave Misty a knowing look. "I know for a _fact_ that Misty here had a thing for Ash…"

She laughed at the look on Misty's face.

"_What are you talking about?" _she said desperately. _"Me? Like HIM? Blech! Ugh! Uh…"_

I chuckled, as quietly as possible. Thank Mew, she didn't hear me. I'd have been a dead man walking.

"But yes," Coral went on. "I can tell you about Peter, but if you want Ash, you should ask Misty."

"Tell me about Peter."

"Well…"

* * *

><p>(Circuit's POV)<p>

The so-called "Al" thanked us for the save and all, then apologized to Pik-sorry, _Peter_- for not being able to accept his challenge, due to the damage to the Gym.

Warp was sitting on Peter's shoulder, with Ash on the other. The boy looked pretty smug. I think he enjoys his job too much.

Anyways, we were back in the Pokémon Center, the four of us, and from the looks on their faces, Ash and Peter neede some explainin'. This won't go over well, I'm thinkin'.

"So," Peter began. "What's going on? From the second we met Matthew, or Warp or whatever, it's been one thing after another, and nothing makes any sense."

"Sounds about right."

"So what's going on?"

Me and Warp shared a glance. He nodded.

I stood up and looked around. Nurse Joy was off doin' something, and the waiting room was otherwise empty. I gave him the all clear.

Warp jumped off Peter's shoulders and walked a few feet off.

I glanced at the other two. "You may wanna cover your eyes."

_"Why?"_

Warp exploded in a flash of white light. Show-off. Peter and Ash gasped.

When the light faded, and kids blinked the spots outta their eyes, I swear I heard a _*thunk_* when their jaws hit the ground.

Instead of an off-color Pikachu in a hat, there was a tall young man with lightly tanned skin. His hair was brown with streaks of blonde. Guess he hadn't washed all the dye out of it yet.

He was wearin' a white suit with yellow pinstripes, a yellow shirt under the jacket, and a white tie. He was leanin' on a golden walking stick.

Peter stuttered. "W-who are you?"

The new boy looked upwards, at the white fedora sittin' on his head.

Peter looked at it blankly. Then his face lit up. "_Matthew?_"

Warp grinned. "Hey. And you can call me 'Warp,' please. I like that name better."

Ash was just starin' at him. Warp, bein' Warp, noticed. His grin widened.

"What's the matter, Ash? Of all people, you should be the _least_ surprised at human-to-Pokémon transformation."

"_W-w-what makes you say that?" _Ash said, fumblin' with the words.

"Oh, any number of things. The amount of fanfiction surrounding the idea is staggering."

"You can still understand him?" Peter said, still shocked.

"But of course. I understand any and all spoken languages, and I can usually get the gist of most sign languages. Just one of the perks of the job!"

Ash tried to grab the opportunity. _"And what job is that?"_ he said quickly.

Warp waved his hand. "Not important."

_"Not im-"_

"Not at the moment, anyway."

Peter sat down and hung his head. "Will some _please_ tell me what's happening?"

I sighed. I'm not one for subtlety, but compared to Warp I'm the epot… epita… eptimo… uh, the very _essence_ of stealth.

I sat down next him. "Well, it's a pretty long story-"

"With a strong beginning that sets up all the characters and hopefully reaches an emotionally satisfying ending!"

"Shut up, Warp- but it all starts with Arceus getting drunk…"


	5. Chapter 5: Exposition

**So what do you think of Warp's outfit? **

**Pokémon belongs to Nintendo. Or Gamefreak, I'm not sure.**

**Share and Enjoy.**

* * *

><p>(Peter's POV)<p>

Circuit must think I'm stupid. I've met Arceus, and he's no alcoholic-

"Hey!" Warp cut in, "Pay attention. This story's important!"

"Thank you, Warp. Now, like I said, it all starts with Arceus gettin' drunk. How to begin…"

Warp jumped in. "Okay, so my name is Matthew Warp, right? Well, my archenemy's name is Mortimer Portal, and he's like my polar opposite. I wear white and yellow, he wears black and red. My job is protecting the fabric of Existence, he wants nothing but to destroy Everything. Nasty fellow."

Circuit nodded. "Right, right. Well, Mortimer turned his sights on the Pokémon universe, and he's trying a different tactic this time around. He got it in his head that when someone gets drunk, they get angry and want to beat folks up. So he went to Arceus and somehow managed to slip him a vodka or three.

"Fortunately fer us, or unfortunately, dependin' on yer view, Arceus is one of those folks who, when drunk, _starts_ thinkin' instead of _stoppin'. _And he got it in his head to-"

A spark flashed between his antennae, and Circuit stopped talking. A strange look crossed his face…

"Sarge?" Warp asked slowly. "What's wrong."

Circuit leaped up and started running. "_Some ijit's attackin' my village!_"

I watched as he ran off. The sky was darkening above him. The clouds looked almost looked like they were following him…

There was a flash of white light behind me. I turned and there was an Emolga floating where Warp had just been.

"_Em emol, ga _ga_ emolga."_

"_Pika? Pi pi pika chu!"_

I sighed. Sometimes I really wish I could understand Pokémon.

* * *

><p>(Blaze's POV)<p>

Okay. I don't know what to do, Presto won't answer the phone, and this Misty girl won't stop pestering me.

Dear Arceus. Threats of violence didn't work so now she's trying _charm_. I think I'm gonna be sick.

"_Pleeeeease, Mr. Wildfire? I promise I won't tell anyone else! I just really, _really_ want to know. You know, because you're just _sooooo_ interesting-"_

"Please. Stop. Misty, charm just isn't your thing, and besides, I don't date outside my species."

"_Aw, come on! Why won't you tell me?"_

"There's nothing to tell! I'd get in trouble…"

"_Please? Pleeeease? -"_

"ALL RIGHT! IT DOESN'T EVEN MATTER, YOU'LL ALL BE GONE SOON, ANYWAY!"

Oops.

"_What does _that_ mean?"_

I facepalmed. Why me?

* * *

><p>(Warp's POV)<p>

Huh. Some poor sucker's attacking the General's home. His funeral.

So, Peter-_pffft AHAHAHAHA_-Peter had found a bench and was clearly having a migraine. I'd decided to leave him alone for now. Not everyday you get your concept of reality turned on its head, right?

Oop. My head's getting fuzzy again…

I landed in a tree and snapped my fingers. Well, my digits. Not sure what you're supposed to call them when you've got paws.

I snapped my fingers and a pair of pills appeared with a glass of water. Excellent.

I took my medicine, thus preserving my sanity for another day. I've never understood it. My power grows in proportion to the local space-time's stability, but the less stable the universe is, the more insane I am. What's the point?

"_HEY!"_

I looked down. Ash was climbing up the tree after me. I waited, because that's the kind of polite guy I am. Then, when he got level with me, I pushed him off the branch. Ha! Classic.

…man, I'm a jerk, aren't I?

So I probably deserved it when he Thunderbolted me out of my tree.

"_I deserved that."_

"_Yes, you did."_

I picked my self up and glared at him. _"So… can I help you?"_

Ash folded his arms and stared at me. Well, two can play at that game.

I pulled my staff from hammerspace-very useful little dimension-and leaned on it, waiting for him to crack first.

I didn't have to wait long.

"_Well? Are you going to finish?"_

"_Yes."_

Silence. Ah ha, I'm so evil. Hehe.

"_Well?"_

"_Well what?"_

"_Explain?"_

"_Go ahead."_

He shocked me again. Emolga are electric types, but are unfortunately still flying types. It still hurt.

"_All right! Spoilsport. *ahem* As Circuit was saying before he ran off to beat some poor moron's head in, Arceus, in his drunken stupor, got to thinking all sorts of 'What if' scenarios, and this one was his favorite."_

"_What do you mean 'this one'?"_

I grinned, but nervously this time. Hoo boy, this won't go over well.

"_Well, Arceus flipped the whole universe over. Brock became Croagunk, Misty became Azumarill, and you became-"_

"_Wait, wait… what?"_

I sighed. This is hard.

"_Your name is Ash _Ketchum, _Peter was _your_ Pikachu, not the other way around, you were human, why are you holding your head like that-"_

"_SHUT UP!"_

Out of nowhere, he Iron Tails me in the stomach. Ouch.

He started running in the opposite direction. Uh oh. I was afraid of something like this.

* * *

><p>(Ash's POV)<p>

_He knows! Maybe he can _NO! He's lying, he's gotta be lying! _But what if he can help _He can't help, there's no problem! _Why are we arguing? He can help us, so-_

We? Us?

I clutched my head. What was going on? What was this voice in my head? Am I going crazy?

"_Hey! Ash! Wait up!"_

I started running. I didn't know why, but every fiber of my body was screaming to get away from him.

All but that one voice…

* * *

><p><strong>So...yeah. Comment!<strong>


	6. Chapter 6: A Learning Experience

**Hello, eternity. I have stared thee in thy face, and thou have offered **_**nothing**_** but pain…**

**Hello, Everyone! Sorry about the slip in updates, but I've been focusing on one of my other stories, check it out, yes? It is called The Electivire Guild, and it is my pride, but not my joy because writing that one chapter depressed me…**

**Anyway, I'm updating now because I read this other fanfic called Forest Tails, and it now ideas flow fresh from my mind and I'm sure as heck not gonna let them get away and no, the lack of commas in the last few lines **_**is**_** intentional because that's how I talk when I'm… in whatever mood you'd call this.**

**Pokémon isn't mine, but some of the characters are.**

**Share and Enjoy. Comment!**

* * *

><p>(Ash's POV)<p>

Oh, nothing is making sense. There's… that… and this…this _thing_…in my head, and… _oh…_

**You know, I've always thought that you were somewhat direct. I didn't think you were the kind to deal with a problem by ignoring it.**

Oh _great_. Another voice in my head.

**Yes, how droll. Trust me, it's even more inconvenient for **_**me**_**. It's a real mess in here, too.**

"_Where is that _coming_ from?" _I said out loud.

**Sorry? Oh, Forgive me. Give me a second… **Ah, yes, here we go. Is this better?"

An Alakazam Teleported beside me. He was tall, and stood up completely straight. Most Alakazam tend to hunch over-

"Ah, yes. Well, most Alakazam don't exercise like I do. I am probably the only one of my kind able to lift my head without the aid of telekinesis."

"_Great," _I mutter. _"Another mind reader."_

He was wearing a top hat and a high-collared cape, and instead of two spoons he had a single, black wand. He was also wearing a tuxedo with a red bowtie. He looked like a magician.

He smiled. "Ah, you noticed that? What do you think?" He swirled his cape.

"_Er…nice?"_

He frowned. "Word of advice. Don't lie to a mind reader, child."

"_Are you with Warp, too?"_

"Oh my, yes."

My ears flattened. _"Are you going to try and feed me a bunch of that nonsense like he did?"_

He sighed. He sighed with his whole body, with his shoulders falling and his mustache drooping. "Regrettably, Warp lacks any kind of tact, though this is more a result of this world's current instability than an fault of his own. He is not, however, a liar."

I grabbed my ears. _"Please… just, stop…"_ My head started pounding again. What was going _on?_

He frowned. "Curious. There appears to be a war going on in your head."

I felt a tug in my gut, and my body glowed with a purple light. I floated up until I was eye-level with him. "My name is Presto, by the way."

"_Ash-"_

"Yes, I _know_ your name. Don't blink." He produced some kind of measuring thing from his jacket. I don't know what it was, but I think I saw one used to measure someone's head once. Humans make the weirdest things.

His eyes glowed purple and he stared at me. I couldn't blink. My eyes syarted watering.

After a few moments he sighed again. He dropped me.

"Well, that's… interesting. I've never seen a case _exactly_ like this before, at least not in person, but the condition is not exactly uncommon."

"_What? What is it?" _If he knew what it was, then I'd be one step closer to-

"Calm down. Listen." He waved his wand and a bench pried itself from the ground and floated over. He took a seat and rubbed his temples.

"Okay. Now. There are two personalities in your mind at the moment. Both are the same, and yet different. That is, they are two different versions of the same person."

"_What? That doesn't-"_

"Hush. Now, you are the dominant personality-at the moment. The other is the original personality."

"_Original?"_

"There an echo out here? Yes, the original. If you interrupt again I will Disable your mouth. The original psyche is trying to assert itself into a dominant role, but the Status Quo is shunting it into your subconscious, where it is occasionally making further grabs for control. It is growing weaker however, and can now only act when there are openings for it to take advantage of, vis-à-vis doubts, fear, or worry."

"_Uh… well if it's getting weaker, that's good…right?"_

"NO! It is most certainly _not_ good! We _want_ the other mind to gain control!"

"_What! Why!"_

"Because," Presto said slowly, "it is, after all, the original. Everyone knows that the sequel never lives up to its predecessor."

I paused. _"…was that a shot?"_

"Nothing gets past you, yes? You shouldn't worry. Once the original takes over, your current personality will be maintained. In fact, it is the nature of such things that you will actually retain memories from _both _lives."

"_How does that work?"_

"I have yet to have a chance to study such phenomena. This will be a learning experience, yes it will." He seemed rather cheerful at this.

I felt my fur start to rise. _"This isn't going to hurt, is it?"_

There was a pause. His smile widened. "This will be a learning experience, yes indeed!"

…Great.

* * *

><p>(Warp's POV)<p>

Good. Presto got to him. Good ol' Presto. Steady as a rock, that one. Speaking of…

I concentrated. _Presto? Can you hear me?_

**Yes sir. Is it important?**

_I like to think so._

**I'm somewhat busy with the young disillusioned polymorph.**

_Yeah, that's great, good job. Say, I want you to set the base down._

**"What!"**

I heard the shout from there. I couldn't help but grin when I saw that little Pikachu jump. _Yes, I've found a nice spot just outside town._

**Warp, I really must protest. Are you skipping out on your medicine?**

_I assure you, I took _three_ pills just a minute ago. You have my full permission to trawl my memories if you don't believe me._

**But if that's the case, and you're still acting like that… oh dear.**

_Yes. But I want the guys to see the place and who knows? They might be useful._

Silence.

_Presto?_

**Hmp. Very well. Contacting Metagross…**

Okay. Good. Excellent. Maybe we'll get done in time for TV! Yay!

Or not.

The base popped out of thin air about ten feet off the ground. It made quite the impressive thud.

Cracks appeared in the walls, then disappeared just as quickly. Self-repairing.

I turned back to human, keeping it simple this time. Cackie pants and a white shirt with a yellow collar. No hat. Staff in hand. Yes. Correct.

A door popped into place on the side of the building, and a massive hand opened it. I knew it was massive because I saw the head that stuck out. Huh. I thought they'd have Pokémon forms in this world. Oh well.

Slate stepped out, shielding his eyes from the sun. Kimmy hurried out, dwarfed by the guy's bulk. Then came Arvin, and… nope, that was it. Good enough.

Slate Buolder was a troll from the Discworld. He was made of rock, like all trolls from the Disc, and his skin was a rather nice shade bluish grey. There was some moss on his shoulders, but hey, that's cultural. I think. He was also unlike most trolls in that he wore pants, specially tailored for him. No shoes or shirt, just the blue jeans, which actually complimented his skin nicely.

Kimmy was a Koopa. She had a lovely blue shell and a pair of wings that she kept folded into her shell. You know those spiky blue shell leader-seeker Swift Shells from Mario Kart? Well, Kimmy was one of those Koopas, with the swift shell. The spikes were retractable.

Arvin, lastly, was a squirrel from Redwall Abbey. He was named after a former Redwall Warrior and abbot, and he tried to live up to the name. I'd expected him to turn into a Pachirisu when he got here, but no dice. Still a red squirrel in a brown tunic.

I ported behind them. "Hey guys!"

Man, Circuit knows how to teach. Only Kimmy flinched, and even then I barely noticed.

"Hey dere, Mister Warp," Slate rumbled. Arvin nodded.

Kimmy unfolded her wings and fluttered into the air. "Where's the target?"

"Target? I thought dis was a…" Slate's face screwed up in the effort of thought. "…what's der word? Thingummy, where you save 'em…"

"Rescue?" Arvin supplied.

"Dat's der bunny. I thought dis was a rescue mission, not a search-and-destroy."

"Actually, this is something completely different," I said.

"Really?"

"Oh yes. This whole universe has been turned on its head. We're supposed to fix it."

"An' how're we gonna do dat?"

"Simple." My staff squirmed and settled into a new shape. "I'm going to find Arceus, tell him off for getting drunk in the first place, and then I'm going to hit him with this crowbar until he fixes everything."

Man, I love the looks on people's faces when I'm around.

"Er…" Slate said carefully, raising a hand. "I don't think dat's a good idea, sir." He glanced at the sky. "Back home, some'fin like dat'd get ya a bolt a lightnin', sir, right in der face."

I grinned. "Yes, but thankfully Arceus is in bed with a hangover, and he tends not to pay much attention to his creation unless something big's going down."

Kimmy floated down. "Aha! If _this_ isn't big, then-"

"Also," I interrupted, "Most people of the godly variety know my profession, and therefore think twice before messing with me. Harming a Guardian can get you in some serious trouble, _especially_ once the Guardian wakes up. Heh."

Slate shrugged, but still looked apprehensive. Can't blame him really. He was involved in the troll mafia for a while, since Chrysophrase was his uncle. However, his connections made him very useful.

"So," Arvin said, hopping up on Slate's back, "What are doing?"

I opened my mouth and closed it again. Huh. "I…haven't thought that far ahead, actually."

There was a satisfying _**THOCK**_as Slate facepalmed.

"But I'll think of something. Kimmy, go help Presto with whatever he's doing. I think he's trying to console a yellow mouse over the fact that everything he thought he ever knew was utterly wrong, so… see to that."

Kimmy stared for a second, then shook her head, bewildered. I'm good at bewildering. It's fun. She took off, quickly becoming a blue streak.

"Now," I said, clapping my hands together. "Here's what we're gonna do until I can think of a more permanent slash productive slash whatever plan."

"Yeah?" Slate raised a ridge, the troll's rocky stand-in for eyebrows, so now you'll know what I mean when I say it again.

"Okay, so… um, let me think… well, we need to find Mortimer."

"You think Mortimer's still here?"

"Oh, yes. I've figured out his game. He's no coward. I don't think he knows _how_ to be afraid, or worried, or what-have-you. He's still hovering around here somewhere, I'd bet my left arm."

"Well, let's go." Arvin jumped into a tree and started sniffing. "Got anything with his scent?"

"He doesn't leave a scent, Arvin."

"No?"

"No."

"Then how are we supposed to find him?"

"Can I say somefin'?"

"Yes, Mr. Boulder?"

He pointed towards the shadows of the forest. "Is dat him?"

I swung around. Tall, shoulder-length jet-black hair, red eyes, black clothes, and a single, dark gray sword that reflected no light? "Yeah," I squeaked. "That'd be him."

* * *

><p><strong>Hello! I had something to say, but now I forgot. Never mind.<strong>


	7. Chapter 7: Mortimer Portal

**What? You thought this fic was about Pokémon?**

…**yeah, I did too. But nope!**

**Pokémon isn't mine, some of the characters are.**

**Share and Enjoy! Also comment.**

* * *

><p>(Warp's POV)<p>

The two of us stared at each other. Dear God, those eyes. He doesn't have whites, his are black.

He stuck his had out beside him, and it started… what's the opposite of glowing? Because if glowing is when something gives off light, what is it called when it sucks the light out?

Well, that's what his hand did, the reverse-glowing thing, and then he was holding a big broadsword. It had a pitch-black handle, and the blade was a dull gray. And I mean _dull_. It had no sheen. It looked almost flat.

I swung my cane and it started glowing gold, and then it was a golden rapier.

We charged each other at the same time. He swung, I ducked. I swung, he parried. I jumped over him and sliced. He dodged.

Now, something about Mortimer. He isn't natural. And you can tell in his movements. He doesn't flinch. He only reacts if the sword would have hit him otherwise. He doesn't waste time, or movement, or words. He only talks if he has something to say. Simply put, he's just _wrong_.

I blocked a blow, and he kicked me in the gut. I stepped back and wheezed. I glared at him. I broke my sword over my knee, and it glowed again. Now I had _two_ swords.

Mortimer jumped as Slate threw a punch, landing on his shoulder. Slate looked at him and tried to headbutt him. He hit him in the groin.

Further proof that Mortimer is creepy: keep in mind that Slate is made of _rock_. When Mortimer got hit there, I winced. _He didn't._

He just got thrown off and flipped over, landing on his feet. Arvin jumped down from the tree and started clawing him. Mortimer actually _ignored_ him.

Kimmy dive-bombed him and he just swatted her away with his sword.

I dived back into the fray. It's not fair. His sword was huge, and I had _two_ of them. He shouldn't be able to block all my blows like that!

Then it hit me. This is an anime universe, and an unstable one at that. He's outnumbered, so _of course_ he's this good. Blasted narrative convention.

"Guys! Back!"

They all jumped back, surrounding him. Mortimer just stood there with that blank look on his face.

I shot a look at Arvin and Kimmy. Arvin drew his own sword (though at the moment it was more like a knife) and leaped into battle. While he was distracted, Kimmy pulled out a couple of Bob-ombs and threw them. Once they hit the ground, their leg popped out and they walked towards the monster, fuses lit. Arvin jumped back, and the bombs exploded just as Mortimer looked down.

I shielded myself from the heat. A bunch of bird Pokémon flew from the trees, and a few hovered overhead, watching.

…no fair. He was still standing there. He was blackened with soot, but the only other visible result was a throbbing temple on his forehead.

Great. We made him angry. Woo…

I threw my arms in the air. "_Stupid broken anime physics_!"

* * *

><p>(Presto's POV)<p>

Hmm. Strange. I sense stress and fear.

I turned towards where the base landed. I couldn't see it from here, but I could sense the others. They were moving and jumping and…

_*BOOM*_

Blowing things up? Who are they fighting? I can't sense anything, just a void…

A _void_. Mortimer.

"There you are! Who's this?"

I turned. Ah. The Pikachu. Name, name… Peter? How droll.

"_*ahem*_ Greetings. My name is Presto."

The human frowned. "More talking Pokémon."

I raised an eyebrow. "Yes."

"I was worried. Ash just ran off, crying, and…" He turned to the Pikachu. "Are you alright, buddy?"

"_I'm… better."_ The little polymorph still looked rather upset.

My kind, Alakazam, are not known for our empathy. We tend shut out others, but as has been made clear, I am an exception. I felt a stab of pity for the poor creatures.

Hmm. Perhaps I can arrange for the creation of a pocket universe…I will have to contact Palkia.

Then I remembered. Mortimer.

"Now that you are back together, I can leave you alone. I must go help my friends."

Peter blinked. "Are they in trouble?"

"Oh my, yes." I pulled a phone from my jacket pocket. I dialed. "Blaze? Yes, your mission is irrelevant. Mortimer is _here_ and I am about to aid in the fight against him. Come quickly. No, I _don't _care if she… tell her no! …you tool. Fine! Bring her as well! Just come quickly!"

I snapped the phone shut.

Peter opened his mouth, but I simply teleported. I know full well that I tend to talk more than is necessary, and so I do not have time for questions.

* * *

><p><strong>...huh. Short chapter.<strong>


End file.
